犯贱啊!!!

Hurray, it's holidays now!!! Many people will think tht teacher is an easy job becoz it's only a half-day job and we teach for 9 months but paid for 12months, sounds great rite???? The truth is: teacher is nvr an easy job!! The half-day meant by others is only the teaching part, yes we only teach for half-day but we need to spend another half-day to do the paper work and to mark the exercise books / exam papers. For other professions, if u go on leave means tht u r totally free frm ur duty but for teachers, even u r on leave u still have to finish the syllabus and get all the admin work done on time, so is it easy to become a teacher???

Anyway, this blog is not to complain abt how difficult and stressed is it to become a teacher becoz i know tht every professions will have their tough part so i respect every professions. I am here today to talk abt HOLIDAYS, hehe!!! Hurray, it's holidays now!!! During school days, I am always busy with schoolwork + housework + tuition so the time past very fast... After busy for ard 9 months, it's holidays now!!! Suddenly, i feel like 生活失去重心 , life becomes very free + relaxing + boring, haha!!! I think i need to plan my holidays well otherwise it will be a waste!!! I know even i didnt do anything the times will still pass like tht. However, somethings must be done so tht i won't waste this precious moments, haha.... Luckily, i will invigilate the SPM examination and the home tuition will carry on like usual, at least i got some side income, hehe.... Tuition and invigilate SPM will take a few days only, so for the rest of the holidays i must use it wisely, haha!!!

Okok, so i will start to think of my holidays plan now.... Tht's why i said i am "犯贱", 有假期烦,没假期也烦, human beings will never satisfy with waht they they are having!!!

PS: Happy holidays to all the teachers and Happy working to all the others!!!!

Mixed feelings...

I didnt blog for so long. So many things happened in these one and a half months, good things, bad things, happy and unhappy things. many many things happened... No matter what, I believe tht I have to treasure all these things, all these r memories, they made up my life and complete my life!!
Next week will be the last week I teach the 3 form 5 classes. What to say??? Mixed feelings... I teach 1st, 2nd and last class mathematics this year... Although teaching the same subject but i have different feelings towards each of the classes. Let's start with the last class : I started teaching them last year, last yr was my first of teaching so i cant teach them well. At 1st, they cant understand and cant follow my teaching coz they r weak students but after both parties tried hard to co-operate, at last we make it!! Although they r weak students but actually they are the students who really appreciate teachers. They will apprciate and respect teachers and if we get angry they will scare and finish their work. I really hope tht they can pass their maths in SPM, really!! GOOD LUCK gals!!!
Now, it's the turn of the 1st class... They are smart + hardworking + excellent students. I am confident tht they can get A for maths in SPM (99% sure unless unexpected things happened). Anyway, i strongly believe tht even they get A for maths, the credits wont come to me!! They got A becoz their tuition teachers are good and if they didnt go for tuition then it's becoz they r smart... sounds sad rite??? I used to think tht if we r sincere towards ppl then ppl will accept us and we can be friends. But after teaching this class, i realised it really needs fate to become friends.. I felt so sorry towards this class coz i cant get along with them no matter how hard i tried... when i am good to them, they think tht i want to gain popularity and busybody but when i stay out of their affairs , they said i dont care abt them, so what to do??? At last, i surrendered!! I try my best to teach them maths, the rest of the things i juz leave to the fate!!! Sad but there is nothing else i can do... Gals, even we cant be friends but i still pray the best to u all!! GOOD LUCK...
Finally, it's my dearest class: 5Sains2!!! I started to teach this class mid of last year... I am their form teacher too... So many things happened in these 1.5 years, all these things will be precious memories to me!! 1 unhappy incident happened last month but i felt so lucky coz we managed to settle problems and it's a happy ending at last... I felt so lucky coz i was given the chance to clear up the misunderstanding among us, thanks GOD!!! To 5sains2 students : maybe u didnt feel it but I LOVE u all very much... GOOD LUCK and all the best to u all!!!
Another school year is going to end soon.... I know i am not the best but i think i have tried my best... The main thing i need to do now is : treasure the last week with my f5 students, hope tht they left behind the unhappy things and leave the schl with all the happy memories... Most probably we wont keep in touch anymore, however i will pray the best for u all the time... GOOD LUCK and all the best to u all in SPM and in the future!!! Goodbye gals!!!

第一次

假期结束了，又要回到现实生活了！！这个假期有点纳闷也有点无聊。虽然如此，还是有些东西是值得纪念的。。整整十天的假期之和朋友出去了一次，但，好的东西只需要一次，哈哈！！

二零零九年九月二十四日是值得纪念的一天：

i）中午十二点就约了朋友吃午餐。去了CHARM's-一间新开的餐馆，用西式的方法售卖中式的食物。第一次光顾，感觉还不错。。

ii）之后就和朋友在Kluang Mall 闲逛。逛了一圈却什么也没买到，居銮不是一个购物的好地方！！

iii）接着，我们去看了一部韩国电影--Tsunami。说了都没人相信，这是我第一次在居銮看电影，真是笑死人了！！！

iv）看完电影后，转战Kluang Parade. 逛了一逛，还是什么都没买到，sienzz... 傍晚时分，我们去吃了irodori sushi .我超爱吃寿司哦！！

v）最后最后，我们去唱-K哦！！OMG，长到这么大还是第一次唱卡拉OK，太丢脸了！！淑君常说唱-K 是减压的好方法，我想他说的没错。虽然对自己的歌声没信心但第一次唱-k 的感觉还蛮爽的，赞！！大约晚上九点我们才拖着累但爽的身躯回家。



这个假期我做了许多的第一次：

第一次在居銮看电影

第一次唱-k

第一次从中午玩到晚上

第一次叫麦当劳外卖专送

第一次从网络下载电视剧



好多好多的第一次，这些第一次如果被大部分的人知道了还会被人笑死但又怎样？？人家真是第一次嘛，所以这是个值得怀念的假期。。。

PS：我要谢谢我亲爱的朋友。谢谢你们陪我度过了愉快又美好的一天，谢谢！真期待下一次的聚会。。

有些话必须说出来。。

假期假期又是假期。。人们常说做老师真好，薪水好假期多,其实他们说对了一半。无可否认，做老师真的有很多假期，连我身为老师都真的认为大马的学校假期真是太多了！！！过多的假期真的会让人变得懒散。哀哉，假期对我这个朋友不多的人还真可怕的，放假时我不是忙着做家务就是做校务，超闷的！！长达十天的假期我可能就只和朋友出去一次，剩下的九天就待在家里发霉/胡思乱想，恐怖！！

因为假期所以闲空，因为假期所以无所事事，因为无所事事所以胡思乱想，因为胡思乱想所以烦恼。其实我有很多问题想问但我想没几个人能回答我的问题。我常想如果我把所想都说出来旁人一定会认为我是钻牛角尖，多余，有时还真无奈。。

算了，既然没人能分享那我就把它们都写在这好了。我的疑问：：
i）为什么做老师这么难？？别误会，这可不是我的片面之词哦。每次和当老师的朋友聚会大家都会大吐苦水，所以现在当老师真的那么难吗？？

ii）为什么现代人都那么大压力？？为什么现代人都那么难满足？？大部分我碰见的朋友都对目前的生活及工作不满意，大家几乎都想换工作改变目前的生活。讽刺的是大家都想转换环境但又有多少人能如愿以偿呢？？

iii）我不喜欢当老师，但不当老师又能做什么呢？？自从踏出社会工作之后，我发现自己还真差劲的！！我常想辞职不干因为我真的不喜欢也不适合当老师，我想成为会计师但我能如愿吗？？我渐渐觉得所谓的理想已离我越来越远了，有许多许多的原因使我离它越来越远。这是原因还是我为自己找的借口吗？？我是不是在为自己的优柔寡断找借口呢？？

iv）我应该以怎样的心态来当老师呢？？曾经我非常在意学生们的看法，我常常想变成受欢迎的好老师。但是，这真的太难了！！我发现我越是在意反而弄巧反拙，渐渐的我开始不那么理会学生的想法了，我常说 Do your best, Leave the rest 。但是，问题又来了！！当我开始不在意他们时，我失去了对工作的热忱。以前我会喜欢到学校因为可以碰见学生但现在我只要想到学校想到工作我就想吐！！请问：失去了热忱，我还能以怎样的心态去面对日常的工作及我的学生呢？？

v）最后，怎样才是完美的人生？？完美的人生= 亲情+友情+爱情+事业+健康？？？缺一不可？？

也许我是天生劳碌命，太多的假期对我来说可是坏事一桩。假期本应用来休息及享受的但我却喜欢胡思乱想，庸人自扰，明明好好的却要钻牛角尖自找烦恼，真该死！！人都是自相矛盾的，假期不好但我还是会期待下一次的假期，哈哈！！！

有些问题问了也不会有答案，
有些话说了也没有人会听，
有些感受没人能明了，
但该说的还是得说。。

Update...September 2009

I didnt update my blog for quite a long time so I am here now to update my life in September. Life in September is quite relaxing. School started on 1st September after a 10-days break. Once the school started my dear form 5 students started their SPM trial exam too. So, I dont have to teach and I managed to finished quite a lot of silly paper work while invigilating trial exam. On the other hand, I also managed to focus on the 2 form 4 classes while trial exam is on. The Maths paper was held on 2nd week of trial and it fell on a nice date 090909, haha... Before the exam I told myself tht no matter how were the results of the students, I must believe tht they have tried their try best so dont angry and dont blame them. I was so eager to know their results tht's why I only used a few days to finish marking their paper. I have 104 form 5 students, 57 of the students scored 1A and 2A (well done and congrats!!!) and 32 students failed their Maths exam. What can I say?? Luckily, I told myself earlier not to angry with them coz I think they tried their best, haha...

Another important event happened in September was I had a crazy weeekend on Spetember. On Saturday (12th Sept), the gang of 'six abalones' finally met up after 9 years!!! We had a gathering at 330pm at Barney restaurant, and we keep on chit-chatting until 7pm, crazy man!!! However, this is not the end yet!! After tht five of us (except a married woman - liyun) met up again at 9pm and chit-chatting in Mc-D until ard 11.00pm. I enjoyed the gathering so much and I am looking forward to the next gathering!!! The next day, I went to donate blood with another group of friends.. This was my 3rd / 4th time, I used to donate 450ml of blood but this time I was only able to donate 350ml coz the nurse said tht I am having low blood pressure. This really sounds weird to me!!! I thought I will have high blood pressure coz I always get angry with the students, who knows actually I got LOW BLOOD PRESSURE!!! I think it was because I slept late the nite before. Then nurse advised me to have enough rest, so I have a good reason to sleep more from now on, muahaha... I did a test on blood sugar and cholestrol level too. The people there said tht I am perfectly ok coz my blood sugar level is normal and to my surprise my cholestrol level is ZERO!!!! ps: I hope tht the machine they used was functioning, haha...

After the crazy weeekend I had, its time to get back to work. Trial exam still on and I am still free. Since I had finished most of my work so actually I got nothing much to do in school. I repeat the same life everyday, pagi pergi kerja, petang balik rumah and tidur, what a relaxing life!!

Cuti Hari Raya will start on 18th Sept. This is another 10 days of holidays, what a long holidays!!! Frankly speaking, I did feel tht there are too many holidays in Malaysia especially the government sector. We have to admint tht too much of holidays will make ppl to become lazy and passive. Tht's why many Malaysians are lazy and passive, sigh.... Anyway, since I am only a government slave so what I can do is only 'terima dan ikut sahaja' becoz we are now busy pursuing ISO (Ikut Saja Ok)... I dont have any plans for this coming cuti Raya yet. Maybe I will:

i) make sure I sleep for 10 hours everyday or
ii) prepare the lessons for form 4 students or
iii) prepare revision materials for form 5 students or
iv) meet up and yamcha with friends or
v) shopping or
vi) doing house works at home

Anyway, no matter what will I do in this cuti Raya, I hope tht I wont end up doing nothing at all and letting the 10 days passing by....

坚持下去的理由

每当我看见活在病痛之中的人，我常问自己到底为了什么要这么痛苦？？我常想如果放弃治疗，让自己安心的死去，或许对病人本身或是对周围的人都是一种解脱。渐渐的，我不再害怕死亡，我更害怕的是生不如死，被病痛折磨。直到我听到这首歌，这首歌的歌词确切地道出了到底是为了什么人会选择坚持下去。动人的旋律+确切的歌词+感人的MV= 太感人了，我哭了。。

尽了力就没那么难过。。

学校月考结束了，吸取了上次的教训我已经不敢对学生的成绩有太高的期望了。我知道只要我尽力了其它的一切并不是我能控制的。不出所料，她们又再一次令我失望了。其实我知道有一些人没有数学天份所以就算再努力也未必能考到好成绩，对于这些人我并没有生气，我有的只是同情。然而除了这一小撮没天份的学生，更多的是懒散不努力的人，面对这些‘废材’，除了生气便是失望了。虽然说还是会觉得难过和失望但这次我的心情平静了很多因为我终于明白只要我尽了力，其它的就顺其自然吧！！很开心因为我学会了：尽力，看开和放下。

心痛的感觉

伤心到底是怎么一回事？？心痛到底是怎样的滋味？？在今天之前我没办法给你很详细的描素，现在我能很清楚的告诉你：那种感觉真的很难受！！！时而欲哭无泪，时而眼泪在眼眶里打转，真的真的很难受！！人家常说，遇到不快乐的事时，不妨找个人倾诉，把事情说出来心情就会好点。但是，今天的我真的难过到不想再提这些事，我怕如果再提起，我的眼泪真的会忍不住掉下来。我真的无法想像在别人面前掉泪会是怎样的。难过的感受挥之不去，写着写着突然好想哭一场。。

自私？？

Remember what i wrote in my previous post?? I told myself tht i need to pratice the law of ‘听不到，看不到，不知道’but i found it's kinda hard to practice this. Yesterday there was an incident happended in my schl tht really touches my feeling. One of my students was sick, she wanted to go back home but no one at her home tht can fetch her back. So, her friends asked the help of teacher on-duty this week to send her back. The teacher refused by giving a silly reason : takut dijangkit H1N1. The teacher knew th the girl was having fever so she told the students she cant send her back home becoz worried will get fever if they r in the same car. The students were so shocked when they heard frm her!! Then, they went to GPK and the GPK told the students tht all teachers were busy and we cant send her back home, what we can do is to send her to hospital...Again the students were shocked to hear this!!! Actually all these got nothing to do with coz i am not the teacher on-duty and i am not the GPK too, then y am i so busybody??/

The truth is: actually right after the teacher on-duty refused to send the student back, the GPK came to the staff room. I was busying with the stupid SSDM thing when the GPK came. The GPK asked the help of a teacher who is free to send the student back. The teacher refused to send her back by giving many reasons (At the same time, there were a few teachers who r very free and busy with chit-chatting... ) Then, the GPK came to me. She asked whether i am free to send her back. I told her tht actually i got no class at tht time but i am busy with the SSDM, when she heard abt it she went off. Actually i got 2 reasons why i refused to help : 1st becoz i was really busy with the SSDM; 2nd : i am unhappy with the teachers, y cant they help since they r free?? At tht moment, i was thinking tht : since they can be selfish, y cant me?? So, i decided to be selfish this time and i refused to help. However, i felt bad immediately after i refused to help. After i rejected the GPK, i continued with my work. When i juz finished my work, the patient's friends came to me again. They told me tht the girl is feeling very bad and she really needs to go back home... since i have finished my work so i told the girls tht i can send her back now and i told the girls to inform her family members 1st. When i was ready to go, i realised tht actually her mother found other friends to pick her daughter up. So, at last i tak jadi send the girl back home..

I am feeling very bad because of my own selfishness (is this a correct word??) , i chose to become a bit selfishness but i nvr realise tht this will make me feel so bad!!! Actually, now the students who know abt this incident all saying tht teachers r very selfish!!! They cant accept tht none of the teachers is willing to help when the students r in trouble. They also cant imagine tht the teachers can be so cruel and self-centered!!! Nowadays, students r not tht close with teachers . I am worry tht the relationship between teachers and students will become worse after this incident...

After this incident, i realised tht it's not easy to become a selfish person. I am not sure abt others but i know it's not easy for me to be selfish. Just a bit of selfishness already make me feeling bad (even remorseful) for so long, imagine if i really become selfish like those chit-chatting happily in hte staff rooms???? To prevent feeling bad so much again, i think i shld change my principle : give the best, do the best and enjoy the rest!!! Conclusion：自私不是我的专项也不适合我。。

消极？？

教了一年半的书，上个星期可真是一个难忘的经历。我自认是个急性子，脾气也较为暴躁但我很少会对学生破口大骂，可是过去的星期四及五，我却失控了！！面对一群冥顽不灵的学生我真的忍无可忍了！！火山终于爆发了，我当着众多的学生面前大发雷霆就连巡察员也不能幸免。其实我真的对那些巡察员感到很失望，前一天老师们花了两个小时和他们开会商讨问题；没想到才隔了一天他们就忘得一干二净！！试问我怎能不生气呢? 或许那些巡察员会觉得我当着学生面前训他们没有顾及他们的感受也让他们很没面子，但他们又何尝有考虑到我的感受呢?就在我大发脾气后，竟然还有巡察员说我骂人不用本，生气不会累！！！我知道他们纯粹开玩笑但这句话真的伤我很深。他们可曾知道生气是很累的？我几乎气到连书都没办法教下去！！与其说生气，其实更多的是伤心。但我不可能在学生面前哭所以我只好用骂来宣泄我内心的不满，要不然我会疯掉！！

经一事，长一智，这次的经历让我重新审视教师这份工作。有时候，有些事我认为对学生好所以就算别人不支持我还是尽力去做，我想只要学生受益及珍惜就好。谁知道往往学生们不但不珍惜反而怨声載道？？真心的付出，换来的却是批评和讨厌，这又何苦呢？？常听人说：教育就是这样，学生还小还不成熟，待他们长大后他们就会明白，但老师也是人，我们也需要鼓励好让我们有动力得以继续走下去。这次事件后，我发现如果想继续走下去，我只要把书教好，把份内事做好就好。还有必要时最好采取：“听不到，看不到，不知道”政策。消极吗？没办法，人在江湖，身不由己。

感触。。

Tonight (4th july) i went to Agape shelter --an orphanage home with friends. Everyone of us will bring a dish there and we got ard 10 dishes!!! After we enjoyed the dinner, we played games with the children there. The children enjoyed themselves but i dont really. I found that it's kinda hard for me to get along with the children. Is this what we called 'Generation Gap'? Oh my God, i am only 26 years old, and i already experienced generation gap??!!! what happened to me?


This really worries me!!! This year is my second year of teaching, actually i am bored with the paper work and also the school admin work. i HATE doing all these things but at least for now i feel happy to go to school because i enjoy getting along with my students. I am 26 and they are only 17, although having a gap of 9 years but i still manage to get along with them. To me, the most exciting part of being a teacher is to mix ard with my students.


But, imagine 10 years later when i turn 36 years old, my students are still 16/17 years old. They are young and i am old, is it tht i will experience the same feeling as what i felt in Agape shelter just now? NoNo, i dont want tht kind of feeling! But what can i do? Can i escape on it? i hope so, i really hope so...


At first it should be a happy gathering but how come i am feeling down??? Again i have to ask myself: Am i thinking too much???

Boring course, relaxing life...

Hi, havnt blogging for so long!!! Am i busy???hehe,I think the month of June will be the best month in year 2009. 1st June, started the 2 weeks school holidays, followed by it is a 2 weeks induction course in Malacca... This is a compulsory course for all government servants in Malaysia before we get our confirmation. Erm, as what i put on my title, this is a boring course. 100 teachers from Johor state gathered in a 3-star holidays in malacca, woke up at 6am everyday for morning exercise, after tht we need to stay in an extremely cold hall for 4 talks right frm morning till night time... Actually, most of the talks are nonsense, they talked like we are going to be the school kerani but not teachers, sigh... At first, i cant wait to go back home and go back school to see my dear students but i changed my mind then... The life here is so relaxing!!!! Imagine life with no school admin work, no student, no house work and no trouble, what a kinda extremely good life is it??!!! Apart frm that, u can enjoy 6 meals per day + servant to tidy up ur room, Oh my God!!! I am so fortunate!!! Can i stay here forever? I know the answer is NO, so sad... So, WAKE UP!!! Be prepare to go back school, work harder and try your best to become a good teacher!! Esther, i know u can do it!!!



Frankly speaking, i think this course is a waste of time + waste of tax-payees' money. We shldnt spend so much on this kind of silly course. Anyway, since we have to come so i will treat this as a reward to us. Goverment appriciates our hard work so they granted us with this extravaganza holidays, haha.... Ok, times up. Go back school and c u....

My friend....

I wrote so many things abt my life.. This time i would like to write abt my friend. Yup, it's my friend, it's a friend of mine. Who is the special one for me to write abt? Hehe, if u read through my blog, u will discover tht her name appeared for so many times... Who is she? Yup, she is Tsu Chin!!! Surprise?!! Erm, whr to start at?



Tsu chin and i know each other since secondary schl times but we r not tht friend during tht time. She is my senior so we juz know each other by names only, haha. However, 缘份天注定, we get to know each other better when we met in university. We met each other again in the university and we became coursemate. It's so happy to meet with hometownmate when u r away frm home. We clicked together, haha!! During the 4 years in university, we registered the same subjects, went to lectures and tutorial together, ponteng lectures together (hehe, dont follow our footsteps orh) , went to shopping together and even gossiping abt others together!! However, if i want to talk abt my enjoyable uni life i must not left out another two names: weyfen and meiling... Four of us always stick together during the 4 yrs in uni. I miss my uni life so much!!!



快乐的时光总是特别快过，4 yrs past and four of us were posted to different places. meiling posted back to sarawak, weyfen to sabah and surprisingly tsuchin and i were posted back to our hometown: Kluang!!! 4 of us were separated but tsu chin and i still stick together, haha!!! Even though both of us are busy with schl works but we always come out to yamcha together. Everytime we go yamcha, we will talk abt our work in schl and also abt our students. This is a good time to share our feeling and grumbles. Actually i am the one who r having the most gumbles, so i must thanks tsuchin for lending her ears, thanks tsu chin!



Not only yamcha, tsuchin and i always go shopping together too. We go shopping together in Kluang and also in KL. Tsu chin is a kind-hearted lady, y? haha, she knows i am lonely and i have not many friends so she always count me in for most of the activities she joined. Everytime she found any good offers abt makan or main, she will ask me along. But dont misunderstood orh, not only makan, minum and jalan-jalan, she invited me along for badminton games too!!! I am so grateful to her, coz she helps me to widen my social circle. I think my life will become even more boring if i dont know tsu chin.



Tsuchin is not only kind-hearted yet she is also a creative and brilliant teacher, a filial daughter and she is good at cooking too... Am i doing adversiting now? Haha, i am not. But she is indeed a good woman. i really 佩服her, she always got so many ideas and she is a person who practice the law of 即时行乐！！This is the thing i always wanted to learn frm her, hehe.



We are so friend until my colleagues also know abt us. They know tht we always go out together. In addition, we will attend a 2-weeks course in malacca lately. OMG, pls dont misunderstood, we are only good friends, we are not lesbian, haha!!! I must clarify otherwise she wont be able to find bf anymore, haha!!!!



We met with so many people in our life,

We make friends with so many people in our life,

It's easy to have friend who can go crazy with u,

but

it's difficult to have friend who can listen to u and at the same time offer opinions to u,

it's even more difficult to have friend who can share your feelings and be supportive to u,

so i am grateful,

To God (although i am not a Christian), thanks for giving me such a good friend and

To Tsuchin, thanks for being such a good friend.



Thanks my dear friend, may u stay happy and healthy all the time!!! Friends forever!!

Again, it's holidays...

Like what i said earlier, we must enjoy the holidays given to us as much as possible!!! So I must think of our things to do so tht i can continue to enjoy my holidays... To those who working in other fields, pls dont jealous!!! We deserved it, haha!!!


I went back schl last thursday to certify my pay slip and also to bring back all my students' exam papers. i have decided not to think abt it again once i left all the exam papers in the schl. we shld be positive, although they didnt do well this time but i am confident they will do better next time. So, do give them and me one more chance!! 别放弃，希望在明天！


I went to town with tsuchin, diana and sin fang on friday. We had our lunch at Irodori. One thing I must tell : i enjoy eating sushi so much, especially cheap and nice sushi, haha!! We sat and ate thr for ard 2 hours i think, since 3 of us (tsuchin, sinfang and I) r teachers, we talked a lot abt schl life. After listening to what sinfang and tsuchin said abt their students and their life in schl, i felt tht i am so fortunate!!! I am so lucky to be posted to convent, although we all agreed tht students nowadays are getting worse but at least my schl is far better than other schools. so, i kept on telling myself tht convent is a good place and my students r good students, haha. So, be contented abt it!!! Okok, i promised tht i will try to love Convent and also try to love my students more from now on, haha!!!


On 06/06/2009 (wah, what a nice number!!), i went to BBQ at Agape Shelter (an orphanage home in Kluang) with tsu chin, diana and also with other friends. This was the second time we went thr. However, this time we have more people and we have more food also, hehe... I brought along my niece, Celine this time. She enjoyed a lot thr. we BBQ-ed and played with the kids thr. We went back at ard 9pm, the kids enjoyed and we enjoyed too. This is our second time and i am sure thr will be 3rd, 4th and 5th...time. So dont worry kids, we will be back!!! C ya...

Holidays..........

Dont worry, i wont talk much abt schl this time. Y? Coz it's holidays now!!!! Hurray, it's holidays!!! Since it's holidays, we must try our best to enjoy it!! Schl 2-weeks holidays started at 30th may, i went to KL with my best friend--Tsuchin on 30th may itself!! Normally, we will go to KL during every holidays. OMG, what's so special abt KL? We finished our tertiary education in KL and we have quite a lot of friends who r still working in KL. so, we can grab the chance to meet up with our friends in KL. Furthermore, we like to do shopping in KL. It is becoz KL got more cheap and well-worth goods to buy and it's better to shop in Kl compare to Kluang. Kluang is a small town so no matter where i go i will meet my dear students. It's quite embarassing to let students saw us shopping, hehe...



Let's talk abt the KL trip!! The 1st day when we arrived KL, i met with my ex-roommate: Sing Yuing (SY). So happy to meet her again after two years. Time flies, we havnt met each other for 2 yrs since graduation. We had our lunch at a restaurant Fireman BBQ, actually eating is not our main motive, we spent ard 3hours there. We eat happily and chit-chat excitedly too!!! So many things to share and talk abt, we enjoyed so much!!! Actually 3 hours is not enough, i hope we can have more time to chat. Nvm, 分离是为了下一次的相聚, we r looking forward to our future gathering!! SY and i hope tht another roommate of us : fonlin can join us next time. If with fonlin ard, i think not to say 3 hours but we can chat for 3 days, haha!!! Shout out: fonlin, make sure u join us next time!!!



Haha, it's time for shopping now!!! Tsuchin and i went to so many shopping centres during the 2 days. We went to One Utama, The curve, Ikano Power Centre and also midvalley.. We shopped a lot and we ate a lot as well!! Actually there are not many good offers this time however women are bornt to be shopahalic. Even though i said tht are not many things to buy, i still managed to grab 5 blouses and 2 bags, OMG!!!



we left KL on monday, 1st June. Although we wanted to stay for longer but no choice we need to come back to settle some works at the schl. so, bye bye KL. What i want to tell is: KL is a good place. It's a good place to shop and it's a place which i spent my 4 yrs there. I miss my uni life, i miss my KL life and the most impotant is i miss my friends in KL!!! Goodbye to my dear friends and to KL. Take k and i will be back, haha....

Monthly review 5: May 2009

Time flies... It's already May!!! Erm... Which word shall i use to describe my life in May? I think i will use ‘平静中又带点激动'吧！！！Why i said so?



First, let me talk about the NRC 2009. NRC (National Robotics Competition) is a competition abt lego robots and programming. The students need to use a software to write a programme tht can make the robots to move. This is the second year i trained the students for NRC. Last yr was my 1st yr to preapre the students for NRC and it was a mess. We were so blur abt the competition so we did badly. This is my second yr and i started to prepare it earlier this yr. We invited trainers frm Sasbadi (main organiser of NRC) to train our students (6 students involved) and we started to prepare it 2 months earlier. We put in so much effort and we thought we will do better this yr. For the sake of NRC, my students and i stayed back late almost everyday. We stayed back in the schl to study abt the programming and went back home at ard 4pm or 6pm. It's so tired!!! we are tired not only due to went back home late but it's also becoz of the results of our work. Sometimes we able to produce some results but sometimes not, it's quite disappointing. Sigh.... The competition was held on 12th may and we went to pasir gudang (so far!!!) for the competition. The results? Sigh... Like what happened last yr, although we worked hard for it but we still failed... All of us were so sad and disappointed coz we really worked hard for it... Anyway, i have to say thank you to all the students involved (Thanks weihong, liching, deeveeya, chiuling, jiahui and suting!) becoz i know they did their best and they sacrificed their time to prepare for NRC. The competition was on 12th may and their mid-year exam starts at 13th may (yup, the next day after the NRC) yet the students still willing to work hard for NRC so i really 佩服 them... After NRC, they apologised to them coz didnt do well but actually i shld be the one to say sorry coz i make them worked so hard for the 2 months. Sorry and thank you gals, i hope u did learn something frm NRC although we didnt win it.



Second thing was abt Teachers' Day!!! Our schl teachers' day fell on 18th may which is in between mid-year exam. So, again prefects are the one who is going to suffer, sigh... They need to prepare for the celebration of teachers' day. So many things they need to do yet they need to prepare for their exams. It's quite tired and stressful to them. For a few days, we (prefects + me) stayed back to prepare for teachers' day. Here, i need to say sorry to all the prefects if i ever gave pressure to u during the preparation. Now, let's talk abt teachers' day!!! Sometimes we worked so hard but the results didnt turn out good. But for this time, the results was excellent!!! We put in so much effort and teachers' day celebration is a great success!!! The activities were nice and the students' performance were interesting!!! Oh ya, i must talk abt the teachers' performance too!!! Since students are willing to perform even though it's exam so we as teachers must perform too lar. Haha, we performed a drama talking abt students' behaviours. Students like to act as teachers so teachers will act as students... Me, played the role of students. haha, we borrowed schl uniform and schl shoes frm my students. OMG!!! All the audience were so surprised and they all enjoyed watching the drama. After tht many students praised tht we acted very well. Haha, actually i am not a crazy person but i will become crazy when i met with someone who always have crazy ideas, haha. Audience enjoyed watching and me too enjoyed acting too!!! One of the weekend in may, i went out yamcha with my ex-students. They talked abt ther brand new form 6 life and i enjoyed listening to it. i am so happy not becoz i can go yamcha, it's becoz they still keep in touch with me even though after form 5. (Thanks feiping for ur sushi and thanks wenjing for ur dumplings, i am so touched!!!) I hope tht i will be able to keep in touch with my present f5 students too after they left the schl this yr. Is it possible?



NRC is over, teachers' day is over, get back to exam now!!! Students busy preparing the exam while teachers' busy marking papers.. The schl was so peaceful and quiet during the exam period. Talking abt marking papers, it's a kind of mixed feeling depends on how u want to c it. Out of the 5 classes i teach, 4 of them are so called 'good classes'. Most of the students did score for my maths papers but there were a few students who did quite badly in the exam. I was so shocked and disappointed!!! Sometimes i will ask is it tht i am too busy with others work until i neglected my students, tht's why they did badly in the exam? Is that so? The other class was the last class. Sigh.... I spent so much effort and time to teach this group of students yet all of them failed the exam!!! What did i do ? I am so sad and disappointed and sometimes i felt like giving up... I know as a teacher i must 有教无类 (meant we shld nvr discriminate or give up our students) but i do feel tired. U spent so much time to teach them but when u mark their papers they seem like nvr learn anything!! All my efforts 付诸流水，哀哉。。。Is it that i pin to high hopes in my students? so, i try to comfort myself : Dont feel sad abt the minority groups but be happy abt the majority students. Actually, majority of my students did do very well, so ms chin be happy and contented!!

Muahaha... I managed to update my blog until May 2009!!! Congratulations and well done Esther!!!

Monthly review 4: April 2009

Erm... Y am i keep writing abt schl life? Sigh.... teacher is a very stressfuland busy job. I know all sorts of works nowadays r stressful but imagine we need to busy with teaching students, coaching students for koko activities and still need to bring back books to mark...c? very busy rite? anyway, sometimes i think it's becoz i am not an effecient teacher coz i saw some teachers r very relax. so, is it my problem?



Ok, now let's go back to april 2009! April is a challenging month to me. I need to organise a leadership camp for all the prefects, monitors and assistant monitors in my schl.. it's kinda hard for me to organise a camp coz i am not an active student during my schl times so i dont really know how to organise a gd camp.. But i still have to do, so do lar!!!



Luckily i get the help of my schl counsellor (thanks ms.Fazreena)!! At first, we thought of many places to do the camp. but, after we reconsidered it, we have decided to go to kem mahkota kluang. Many students asked me y we chose tht place, so now i want to tell the reason!!!

1. My schl planned to have camp thr since last yr but didnt make it. so, we hope tht we can try to do camping thr since we nvr go thr be4.


2. All the participants for this camping r gals and our schl lack of male teachers. so, it's quite risky to bring our gals out of the schl. Security is the main reason..Gals, i hope u can understand!!


3. i know many of the gals dont like camping. Actually, teachers do hate camping like them too coz we need to sacrifice our weekends rest time to take k of the gals. Another reason y we choose kem mahkota is : we dont have to involve many teachers for the activities coz most of the activities will be handled by the ppl thr. so, teacher will get less work, (less work = less complaints)!!

I felt so tired to organise the camp, so many works to be done!! Contact the person-in-charge in kem mahkota, prepare proposal, collect fees frm students, order t-shirts, brief the teachers and students involved... and many more... After all the preparation, it's the time for the camp!!! I am not interested to tell what happened during the camp, what i wanted to share is things after the camp...

After the camp, i heard a lot abt the camp from students and teachers. Frm teachers, they all agreed tht it's good to have camping activity thr. Of course lar, u all dont have much to do mah!!! Frm students, it's quite sad for me lor... Many participants complained abt the bath room (bilik mandi terbuka) and also abt the activities. What i wanted to say is: kem mahkota is not a place for challenging activities but it's a very gd place to built the students' discipline!! I think most of the students didnt enjoy the camping this yr coz most of the time they need to do marching (what they hate the most!!) and they hate the bath room too.

i think it's normal to feel sad when u tried very hard to do somethings for somebody but at last the ppl didnt enjoy or appreciate it... I am sad, disappointed and i am lost!!! I dont know what can i do so tht i can create a win-win situation. what can i do so tht other teachers wont complain and at the same time my dear students can enjoy it???? I am still seeking for the answers, anyone of u who can tell me the answers?

i'm lost!!! i lost interest and confidence to organise anymore camps, this makes me worry coz as long as i am in the schl and as long as i am the discipline teacher, thr will be a lot more camps waiting for me!!!

I'm lost but life goes on, works still on!!! Whenever i felt lost, i will try to persuade myself to go back to my core business. What is my core business? Of course teaching lar!! Whenever the situation demotivates me i will keep on telling myself to go back and concentrate with my core business. I dont know whether it is useful but this is the only thing i can do. No one is thr to comfort me abt this so i have to comfort myself. I keep on telling myself tht i dont have to feel bad as long as i have done my part and as long as i gave my best.....

Monthly review 3: March 2009

Schl sports day dah over. However, we still have district level and state level sports events (or more often known as MSSD & MSSJ). Once i mentioned abt MSSD and MSSJ, again i need to praise my schl prefects. U know y? Sometimes (actually is most of the times) i really respect my schl prefects, they are all young and sweet gals but every yr (nvr miss out) my schl prefects will need to involve in marshall. well, what is marshal abt? Marshal is a duty whr the prefects need to bring the athletes to the venue of the competition in the stadium. Sounds easy rite? Wei, since it's easy, y every must send convent girls prefects there? Hehe, according to the urusetia of MSSD and MSSJ, convent prefects r really in top form!!! They memang 'tahan lasak' (erm, maybe it's not gd to use ths words to describe but sorry i cant find other words, hehe). Pls imagine: no matter how is the weather (sunny or rainy days) the young and sweet gals need to take the participants walking here and thr, somemore need to kena marah by other teachers, so pity!!! Although they will be paid and will get a cert but i think this is too little compared to what they did. Actually i dont know whether the gals enjoyed doing marshall but as a prefects' teacher i got no choice, i need to order or force them into it (i hate forcing ppl doing things coz me myself also dont like being forced by others) . So,



to those who enjoyed doing marshall:

thanks for ur help and contribution.



to those who hate marshall:

thanks for ur co-operation and ur contribution as well.



At last, i managed to force prefects to do marshall. as what i said, i hate forcing ppl but what can i do? Haha, what i only can do is: kept on saying thank you to the gals and to the form 5 gals i gave the MSSJ cap to them as souvenirs (but maybe they dont even like tht too. y? y r u always so pessimistic? be positive!!!)



I know, I know!!! once i become discipline teacher, i always have to force ppl either students or prefects to do things tht they dont like, i hate to be discipline teacher!!! But what can i do? 这是命，认命吧！！

Monthly review 2: February 2009

好不容易，i entered February dy!! After so many shocked incidents in January, i managed to survive until february. Feb is a month of sports. Students r busy with latihan rumah sukan & merentas desa while teachers r busy chasing (or better to say forcing) students to attend latihan sukan. Actually, i admired my students a lot coz they have to come back or stay back in schl to attend sport house practice twice a week. I admired them not only becoz of their excellent attendance but also their team spirit. Especially during sukantara, i saw tht the students did try very hard to score for their sports house and they also encouraged their friends to score for their own house... I really enjoyed watching them worked hard for their own sports houses, gals u r great!!!



Since students need to stay back for sports house practice so teachers also have to stay back to look after the students too.. U know what? I went back home so late (almost 6pm everyday) !! First, i have to stay back to jaga my students practising. Second, since i am the ketua KRS so i need to stay back to jaga my KRS members to practice kawad kaki. Let me introduce KRS to u all 1st: Kadet Remaja Sekolah (KRS) is an UPS which always being looked down by others. I cant blame it coz most of the members in this UPS r passive. So it's quite hard to get 33members to do kawad kaki during sports day even though we have ard 15o members. As a teacher, i need to pujuk, order or even threaten my students to do kawad kaki. At first, the attendance was so teruk and many ppl rejected so i need to stay back to check on them. It's indeed very tired!!! Luckily, i got a very capable pengerusi for KRS, she helped me a lot. thanks nishanthi!!( She is a very good and helpful student, u all will see her name quite often in my blog.)



Apart frm sports day preparation, i need to get use with my new post as discipline teacher. My boss was away for maternity leave for 2 months since feb. so i need to take over all her duties, i need to take care of the students' discipline problem and also take k of all the morning session prefects . I need to make sure prefects r doing their duties during sports day. Again, i need to thanks Nishanthi .she helped me to arrange all the duties for the prefects.



Now, i have to cerita ttg sports day!!After busy for ard 2 months, finally it's the sports day! this is the 2nd yr i joined schl sports day. During sports day, i saw gals tried hard to win. i saw many things and all r the good things. I was so happy with this yr sports day!!! My sport house-red house bounced back!!! We r the champion for this yr, haha. Well done, gals!!! Not only the red house gals, i must praise my KRS gals too. They managed to come out as 3rd place in kawad kaki competition. Although it's only 3rd place but to me it's very gd dy coz KRS performed quite badly these few yrs (this was what i heard frm other teachers) So, Gals, i am proud of u all, thanks for all ur hard work!!!



Even though i am tired with sports day preparation but i really enjoyed it. I am happy and proud with the students' performance!! Now, i would like to take the chance here to thanks all those parties who did contributed to the success of sports days. Who r they?



To red house gals:

without u, red house wont become champion;

To KRS marching gals:

without u, we wont become the 3rd;

To all prefects:

without u, sports day wont run smoothly;

To all convent gals:

without u, sports day wont be a success!!!

thanks to all of u,

without u, ms.chin wont be able to enjoy it!!!


thanks, thanks and thanks again!!!



Sports day is over, february also came to the end....

Monthly review 1: January 2009

Time flies, it's June now!!!! Quite a lot of things happened in the past 5 months, so i have decided to have a slot known as monthly review. In my monthly review, i will try to sum up all the important happenings in tht particular month. So, let's start with the month of January 2009!!

January: school reopens!!! I was so reluctant to go back schl after 6 weeks of holidays. However, i cant deny tht sometimes (only sometimes) i will miss my students, haha (sounds so hypocrite but it's true!!!) Actually before schl reopens, we already had a few teachers' meeting. I know tht i will have more workloads this yr. However, i thought i can handle the workload better this yr coz i already got 1 year experience. BUT it's juz my 一厢情愿。As what i expected earlier, i will continue to become a form teacher in one of the form 5 class and i will be teaching mathematics too. These are all the things i expected, so nothing special and everything seems all right.

Who knows, life is unpredictable!!! one of the experienced teacher in my school tendered his resignation. It's all out of sudden!! He is a very capable and experienced teacher so we all felt tht it's a big loss to our schl. He is teaching maths and add maths in the schl, since he have decided to resign so someone must be there to take over his classes. Consequently, i was assigned to take over one of his add maths class and also one of his modern maths class. (A secret to be shared here: actually i volunteered myself to take over his modern maths class coz i prefer to teach SPM maths rather than PMR maths), so 5SC1 students pls dont hate me and also dont blame me for volunteering myself even though u dont like me, haha!!!Bored? Be patient, 好戏在后头！！！

I dont mind to take over all the maths and add maths classes coz this is our core business, but apart frm tht there is a mission impossible for me!! I was assigned to become the discipline teacher in my schl, so shocked!!! I know i am a person with high self-discipline (厚脸皮！！）but i dont think i can discipline my students. So, it's a mission impossible to me. However, this is an ORDER so i cant tolak!!! I can still remember tht when my schl principal announced in the assembly tht i am the new discipline teacher, all the students clapped loudly!!! The principal interpreted tht this meant tht the students are willing to co-operate with me but i interpreted it in another way: i think the students felt tht it's so funny to put a young and new teacher like me to become their discipline teacher!!!

一波未平，一波又起. After the male teacher resigned, another female teacher in my schl was transferred to a new schl. She was the head teacher of KRS so someone need to take over her duty, guess who? Again, it's me!!!It's not easy to become ketua KRS coz this is an UPS which most of the members are passive students, they dont really like to attend koko activities. in addition, actually i was a passive student during my schl times and i dont like to attend koko activities too. So, it's a big challenge for me to encourage students to join koko activities while i myself dont like it!!!

So far, i think these are the 2 major incidents tht happened in my schl which affected my schl life directly. Anyway, for ur information teachers are busy especially the first few months. This is becoz besides the admin work we need to busy with sports activities / sports day preparation in the first few months. However, i will leave the cerita abt schl sports day in my february monthly review...

To be continued...

Grand opening..

Hi, welcome to my blog. Today-4th June 2009 is a kinda special day. Y? Can u imagine an ICT idiot like me will ever write a blog? The reason is: I am interested in others' blog lately, actually it's quite unfair to read others' blog with writing blog, is it? Haha...After reading others' blog, i found that actually writing blog is a good way to express our feelings. That's y my blog titled like this. Sometimes i felt tht i have no place to express my feelings and to share my thoughts, so i hope tht i can make use of this blog to tell ppl how i felt. Anyway, since i declared myself as an ICT idiot, so everybody pls dont pin high hopes on this blog. Moreover, I am a secondary Mathematics teacher so i prefer numbers more than words, i am not good at language so pls spare me if there is any typing and spelling errors or grammatical errors in my blog.
Finally, u r welcome to leave your comments here.