自私？？

Remember what i wrote in my previous post?? I told myself tht i need to pratice the law of ‘听不到，看不到，不知道’but i found it's kinda hard to practice this. Yesterday there was an incident happended in my schl tht really touches my feeling. One of my students was sick, she wanted to go back home but no one at her home tht can fetch her back. So, her friends asked the help of teacher on-duty this week to send her back. The teacher refused by giving a silly reason : takut dijangkit H1N1. The teacher knew th the girl was having fever so she told the students she cant send her back home becoz worried will get fever if they r in the same car. The students were so shocked when they heard frm her!! Then, they went to GPK and the GPK told the students tht all teachers were busy and we cant send her back home, what we can do is to send her to hospital...Again the students were shocked to hear this!!! Actually all these got nothing to do with coz i am not the teacher on-duty and i am not the GPK too, then y am i so busybody??/

The truth is: actually right after the teacher on-duty refused to send the student back, the GPK came to the staff room. I was busying with the stupid SSDM thing when the GPK came. The GPK asked the help of a teacher who is free to send the student back. The teacher refused to send her back by giving many reasons (At the same time, there were a few teachers who r very free and busy with chit-chatting... ) Then, the GPK came to me. She asked whether i am free to send her back. I told her tht actually i got no class at tht time but i am busy with the SSDM, when she heard abt it she went off. Actually i got 2 reasons why i refused to help : 1st becoz i was really busy with the SSDM; 2nd : i am unhappy with the teachers, y cant they help since they r free?? At tht moment, i was thinking tht : since they can be selfish, y cant me?? So, i decided to be selfish this time and i refused to help. However, i felt bad immediately after i refused to help. After i rejected the GPK, i continued with my work. When i juz finished my work, the patient's friends came to me again. They told me tht the girl is feeling very bad and she really needs to go back home... since i have finished my work so i told the girls tht i can send her back now and i told the girls to inform her family members 1st. When i was ready to go, i realised tht actually her mother found other friends to pick her daughter up. So, at last i tak jadi send the girl back home..

I am feeling very bad because of my own selfishness (is this a correct word??) , i chose to become a bit selfishness but i nvr realise tht this will make me feel so bad!!! Actually, now the students who know abt this incident all saying tht teachers r very selfish!!! They cant accept tht none of the teachers is willing to help when the students r in trouble. They also cant imagine tht the teachers can be so cruel and self-centered!!! Nowadays, students r not tht close with teachers . I am worry tht the relationship between teachers and students will become worse after this incident...

After this incident, i realised tht it's not easy to become a selfish person. I am not sure abt others but i know it's not easy for me to be selfish. Just a bit of selfishness already make me feeling bad (even remorseful) for so long, imagine if i really become selfish like those chit-chatting happily in hte staff rooms???? To prevent feeling bad so much again, i think i shld change my principle : give the best, do the best and enjoy the rest!!! Conclusion：自私不是我的专项也不适合我。。