消极？？

教了一年半的书，上个星期可真是一个难忘的经历。我自认是个急性子，脾气也较为暴躁但我很少会对学生破口大骂，可是过去的星期四及五，我却失控了！！面对一群冥顽不灵的学生我真的忍无可忍了！！火山终于爆发了，我当着众多的学生面前大发雷霆就连巡察员也不能幸免。其实我真的对那些巡察员感到很失望，前一天老师们花了两个小时和他们开会商讨问题；没想到才隔了一天他们就忘得一干二净！！试问我怎能不生气呢? 或许那些巡察员会觉得我当着学生面前训他们没有顾及他们的感受也让他们很没面子，但他们又何尝有考虑到我的感受呢?就在我大发脾气后，竟然还有巡察员说我骂人不用本，生气不会累！！！我知道他们纯粹开玩笑但这句话真的伤我很深。他们可曾知道生气是很累的？我几乎气到连书都没办法教下去！！与其说生气，其实更多的是伤心。但我不可能在学生面前哭所以我只好用骂来宣泄我内心的不满，要不然我会疯掉！！

经一事，长一智，这次的经历让我重新审视教师这份工作。有时候，有些事我认为对学生好所以就算别人不支持我还是尽力去做，我想只要学生受益及珍惜就好。谁知道往往学生们不但不珍惜反而怨声載道？？真心的付出，换来的却是批评和讨厌，这又何苦呢？？常听人说：教育就是这样，学生还小还不成熟，待他们长大后他们就会明白，但老师也是人，我们也需要鼓励好让我们有动力得以继续走下去。这次事件后，我发现如果想继续走下去，我只要把书教好，把份内事做好就好。还有必要时最好采取：“听不到，看不到，不知道”政策。消极吗？没办法，人在江湖，身不由己。

感触。。

Tonight (4th july) i went to Agape shelter --an orphanage home with friends. Everyone of us will bring a dish there and we got ard 10 dishes!!! After we enjoyed the dinner, we played games with the children there. The children enjoyed themselves but i dont really. I found that it's kinda hard for me to get along with the children. Is this what we called 'Generation Gap'? Oh my God, i am only 26 years old, and i already experienced generation gap??!!! what happened to me?


This really worries me!!! This year is my second year of teaching, actually i am bored with the paper work and also the school admin work. i HATE doing all these things but at least for now i feel happy to go to school because i enjoy getting along with my students. I am 26 and they are only 17, although having a gap of 9 years but i still manage to get along with them. To me, the most exciting part of being a teacher is to mix ard with my students.


But, imagine 10 years later when i turn 36 years old, my students are still 16/17 years old. They are young and i am old, is it tht i will experience the same feeling as what i felt in Agape shelter just now? NoNo, i dont want tht kind of feeling! But what can i do? Can i escape on it? i hope so, i really hope so...


At first it should be a happy gathering but how come i am feeling down??? Again i have to ask myself: Am i thinking too much???